Living Counter-Culturally in this Modern World
10 ways our family has shifted from the American hustle to something deeper
I don’t know how many times this summer I told my husband something like, “Wow, this seems to be the new norm that families have shifted into”, yet feel the urge to push back against some of those messages instead of falling in step with them.
In 2020, like many families, our lives shifted drastically. I began homeschooling. My husband transitioned to working permanently from home (in a tiny corner of our bedroom where he still works today). What started as a response to disruption became an invitation— to slow down, reevaluate, and reshape our lives around what mattered most.
Many of the ways my family lives today would seem counter-cultural to most American families— we educate differently, have more kids than average, own a fraction of what might be considered standard, resist “most” opportunities to spend impulsively to satisfy a desire, and prioritize family dinners together as one of the anchors of our days.
We didn’t wake up one day and decide that we were going to live counter-culturally. But little by little, we found ourselves choosing a path that felt quieter, simpler, and more deeply aligned with our Christian faith.
Before reading further, please understand that this list absolutely isn’t prescriptive or the “right” way to live—it’s just one family’s story that I want to share. We’ve learned that pushing back against the pressure to keep up, spend more, and stay busy has opened the door to deeper relationships, purposeful parenting, and a life that just feels more balanced.
Below, I’m sharing some of the ways we’ve chosen to live differently—not because we think everyone should—but because they’ve brought more fulfillment to our home. If you’re feeling the weight of modern life too, maybe one or two of these ideas will spark something for your family as well. So take these ideas with a grain of salt or take a few for your own family! In many areas of life, we have the freedom to choose how and why we live, even if it means pushing back against the grain.
10 Ways Living Counter-Culturally Looks for our Family
1. We prioritize our marriage.
In a culture that often puts kids at the center, we’ve learned the value of keeping our marriage strong and the center of our family. It’s not always easy in the busy years of raising small kids, but making time to connect with each other is essential. Whether it’s lingering over lunch or sitting outside after we put the kids to bed to chat, this time makes a huge difference in our ability to stay connected and close to each other. A healthy marriage is one of the best gifts we can give our kids.
2. We give our kids chores.
Helping with dishes, folding laundry, making their own beds, picking up toys, making lunches, mowing the lawn—these aren’t punishments, they’re part of being a team and contributing to our family. We want our children to grow up with a sense of responsibility, not entitlement so giving them daily, age-appropriate chores from a young age teaches them many important life skills and lessons, and is truly very helpful for us too!
3. We teach our kids life skills ourselves.
When did paying for swim lessons for kids become the standard of what parents do each summer? I’m not bashing these types of lessons at all (we’ve done them a few years ago), but sometimes it’s worth thinking about whether or not outsourcing is necessary or if the skill can be taught by a parent— like in the good old days? Whether it’s learning to ride a bike, swim, or play catch, we take joy in teaching our kids ourselves, plus it saves a ton of money when you have a lot of kids!
4. We chose an alternative path for education.
Public school was always what we thought would be the best fit for our family, until we began homeschooling and realized all the benefits that came with that type of lifestyle. Homeschooling has allowed us to shape not just what our children learn, but how they learn and why. It also gives us the freedom to weave in our faith while also sparking curiosity and the values that matter most to our family.
Homeschooling isn’t the easiest route, but in my opinion as a former public school teacher and mom of four, it’s the most fulfilling. It may not always be right for every child, every season, or every family—but with intentional planning, preparation, and a focus on what matters most, it can be a lifestyle full of relational closeness, adventure, and academic success.
5. We try to create more than we consume.
Instead of immediately buying new things or seeking entertainment, we look for ways to use what we have, bake something from scratch, or make our own fun instead of spending money. Over the years, this mindset has taught both ourselves and our kids that the answer to life’s problems isn’t merely to buy something new. It feels so much more satisfying to make our own fun instead of unwrapping it from the Amazon truck.
6. We limit screen time—for all of us.
Years ago, our kids watched daily cartoons and we scrolled our phones far more than we’d like to admit. Now, we’ve set better boundaries. Our kids look forward to one family movie on the weekend, and in the meantime, they play, create, and get bored (which we’ve learned is actually good for them!). We’ve given up nearly all social media and don’t feel like we’re missing out but leaving time for more meaningful activities, like writing this blog!
7. We embrace slow living.
We try not to pack every day full, because we value margin. We’ve learned to say no to good things if it means preserving our family rhythm. We linger over dinner, protect quiet evenings many days of the week, and hold off on daily extracurriculars while our kids are young, knowing there will be time for those (in moderation) later in life.
8. We live below our means.
Tracking our spending in a spreadsheet and keeping a close eye on where our money goes is a daily habit for me. For several years (even with having 4 kids), we were a one-car family—not because it was easy or more convenient, but because it allowed us to save and stay flexible. Contentment and creativity go a long way when you’re not chasing a lifestyle you can’t afford!
9. We practice a weekly Sabbath.
Sunday is our reset. We go to church, spend time together, and enjoy a slower pace the rest of the day. Most Sunday evenings we gather with my family for dinner at my parent’s house. It’s not elaborate but a simple, consistent rhythm that keeps us rooted. And it reminds us that rest is a gift, not a luxury. Even if you’re not religious, taking a weekly Sabbath to slow down and give yourself a day of rest is so healthy.
10. We only keep what we truly need.
We’ve spent years decluttering our home, and the difference is lighter and noticeable! There’s fewer toys, simpler routines, more tidy spaces, and less overwhelm from “stuff” in general. Our general rule of thumb is to keep only what is useful or beautiful. This concepts works especially well when you’ve understood that managing clutter begins with what you buy and bring into your home first.
Final Thoughts
The ways we’ve chosen to live certainly don’t have to look the same for your own family, but it’s always worth evaluating why you’re doing the things you’re doing and making changes as necessary. Seasons of life may look differently, which is why being flexible and rooted in what matters most will sustain you and your family in these decisions. Living counter-culturally isn’t about following (or not following) a set of rules but carving out a life that most aligns with how you want to live.
As always, thank you so much for being here and following along with my journey! If any of these ideas resonated with you, I’d love to hear!
Excellent ideas! So many of these resonate. I ran away from my counter cultural upbringing, and now with children of my own am drifting towards it again with open arms.
I read a book on practicing Sabbath recently and was really inspired to do the same. It hasn’t been as quiet as I would hope, but love knowing others are striving to keep one day sacred.