Finding Abundance in the Messiness of Motherhood

Reshaping my perspective to focus on what matters most.

I’m a fairly tidy person and my ideal aesthetic is minimal and clean. For the last 4 years, my husband and I have ruthlessly decluttered our home and put systems into place that help us to keep our home organized and running smoothly— limiting chaos from “stuff” that isn’t necessary.

For me, life just runs better when everything has a home. I’ll echo the scientific findings that visual clutter tends to make me feel more stressed and unfocused. So if you stepped into my home, you’d likely find spaces that reflect these ideals (at least most of the time).

But I’ve also realized over the years that having a clutter-free home and keeping on top of all the household tasks can come at a cost. Within the walls of my home holds four young children— currently ranging from ages nine through two. They’re full of life, extremely active, and spend most of their waking hours running the halls of our home.

Because we’ve chosen to homeschool, life looks different for our family. We’re home (all six of us) nearly every day of the week. There’s many mouths to feed three nourishing meals to a day, laundry that piles up, school supplies that make their way into every corner of the house, toys that get dragged to and fro, and the general signs of life well lived that emit traces throughout the home (my favorites are the little grubby finger prints that seem to show up everywhere!).

At the end of the day, I could see these “messes” as burdens, giving me yet another area to tidy up before the day comes to an end.

But throughout the last few years, I’ve tried to train myself to not resent these messes, but see them as “signs of life well lived”. Recently I came across a verse from Proverbs that reminded me of this reshaping perspective…

“Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean, but abundant crops come by the strength of the ox” Proverbs 14:4

If we hadn’t chosen to lean into this lifestyle or decided to have fewer children, our lives would look pretty dissimilar — I’d have more time to clean and keep up with the home, less mouths to feed all day long, and ultimately more quiet moments.

No oxen and a clean manger…aka no children and a clean(er) home.

Life comes with trade-offs in many decisions we make. For me, I have to regularly remind myself of the path we’ve chosen to travel and what that means as a result. When I allow the challenges or demands to overtake the joy that comes from having my children home, it robs me of the most precious gift I’ve been blessed with— enjoying this journey with them.

So my home may not be as clean or organized as I’d like and I have far less time to pursue my list of creative ideas…but I do have them. And from this faithful pursuit of mothering them and embracing the messiness that results on a daily basis, I pray that it produces abundant fruit and a life well lived of what matters most.