101 Things I Hope to Teach My Kids by Age 13

A list of key skills, values, and lessons to teach my daughter over her next 3 years.

The oldest of my four kids just turned 10 this summer— leaving me feeling like we’ve officially crossed over into a brand new milestone and season unlike any other. I’ve now been a mother for 10 years and I’m parenting a child who, for once, is more independent in many ways than dependent. She claims, in a confident yet childlike kind of way, that she’s almost a teenager.

I’ve always disliked the commonly given piece of advice meant to make mothers realize just how fast time goes— the days are long but the years are short. I guess I never truly wanted to admit that these years might go by quickly, but relished in the fact that I’ll never take them for granted and cherish each one of them.

But now we’re here, only a few years away from age 13. And time certainly has flown by in many ways.

Milestones like this often urge me to stop and reflect. How do I want to spend the next three years of her adolescence until officially crossing into her teen years? What skills and lessons do I want her to know, learn, and be confident in?

In this post, I’ve created a list of 101 things I hope to teach my daughter before she turns 13. Currently, I also have three younger boys who I’ll also curate a similar list for when they reach this age, although the list may look slightly different due to the nature of wanting to instill additional skills that are more geared towards adolescent boys.

This list is filled with practical life skills, academic and intellectual skills, relational and community skills, moral and faith skills, personal growth and character skills, financial stewardship skills, and physical and outdoor skills— certainly not an exhaustive list but one that contains many of the key skills on my mind right now.

Some lessons on this list have already been mastered by my daughter (because she loves cooking and babies!), but others will have to be taught and practiced through modeling and training. Years from now, I’d love to look back on this season and see it as one of gentle and purposeful formation— shaping her into the confident, loving, well-rounded girl I know she has the capability of becoming. Here’s my list of 101 things I want her to be able to do confidently in the next three years…

Practical Life Skills

1. Bake bread or cookies from scratch

2. Do laundry (wash, dry, fold, put away)

3. Keep bedroom and personal space tidy

4. Know basic sewing skills (sew a button, fix a tear)

5. Do yard work well (mow the lawn, rake leaves, weed a garden bed)

6. Care for family pets responsibly

7. Safely use basic tools (hammer, screwdriver, measuring tape)

8. Wash dishes thoroughly by hand

9. Pack for a trip on their own

10. Ride a bike safely and confidently through town

11. Swim with basic proficiency

12. Use technology responsibly

13. Plan and cook a meal for the whole family from start to finish (on a regular basis)

14. Plant, water, and harvest something from the garden

Academic & Intellectual Skills

15. Read a wide variety of genres, fluently with comprehension and joy

16. Write a clear paragraph with a main idea and details

17. Summarize a book or passage in their own words

18. Use measurement tools accurately (ruler, scale, measuring cups)

19. Know basic geography (continents, US capitols, major countries, oceans)

20. Use a dictionary or online reference tool properly

21. Write a friendly letter, formal letter, and thank you notes

22. Give a short oral presentation with confidence

23. Ask good questions in discussion or reading

24. Take notes in their own words

25. Memorize key Bible passages and verses

26. Read a map and understand directions

27. Recognize logical fallacies and practice clear thinking

28. Develop curiosity by pursuing one independent research project

29. Practice mental math in everyday life situations (instead of relying on a calculator)

Relational & Community Skills

30. Greet people politely and make eye contact

31. Show hospitality to guests (offering food, drinks, kindness)

32. Include others who are left out

33. Work as part of a team (family, sports, co-op group)

34. Listen actively without interrupting

35. Speak respectfully to adults and peers

36. Apologize sincerely and ask forgiveness

37. Forgive others when wronged without holding a grudge

38. Care for younger siblings and children with patience

39. Show and recognize gratitude daily (to God and people)

40. Lead family devotions or prayer time

41. Volunteer in church or community projects

42. Remember birthdays and special days of others

43. Encourage siblings and friends when they’re discouraged

44. Know basic table manners at home and in public

45. Be comfortable talking with both children and adults

Moral & Faith Skills

46. Know and explain the Gospel in their own words

47. Recite the Lord’s Prayer and understand its meaning

48. Read the Bible regularly on their own

49. Pray for others by name

50. Recognize right from wrong using biblical principles

51. Practice honesty even when it’s hard

52. Confess mistakes without being prompted

53. Sing or play a variety of hymns and worship songs

54. Participate respectfully in church services

55. Recognize God’s creation and care for it

56. Encourage others with Scripture

57. Resist peer pressure with confidence in their faith

58. Know key Bible stories from Genesis to Revelation

Personal Growth & Character Skills

59. Show self-control when upset

60. Delay gratification (wait for rewards)

61. Finish what they start

62. Persevere through challenges without quitting quickly

63. Take responsibility for their own actions

64. Admit when they don’t know something and seek help

65. Recognize strengths and weaknesses with humility

66. Develop routines for schoolwork and chores

67. Keep track of their own belongings

68. Practice punctuality (being on time)

69. Care for their body (basic hygiene, rest, exercise)

70. Take feedback or correction without arguing

71. Express feelings in healthy ways

72. Resist comparing themselves to others

73. Value hard work and doing a job well

Financial Stewardship Skills

74. Understand the difference between needs and wants

75. Create a simple budget for allowance or gift money

76. Save at least part of any money they receive

77. Tithe or give regularly to church/charity

78. Compare prices before making a purchase

79. Understand the value of waiting for sales or deals

80. Avoid impulse spending by pausing before purchases

81. Learn how to open and use a savings account

82. Set long-term savings goals (for desired items)

83. Recognize the dangers of debt

84. Be generous with money toward siblings and friends

85. Work for money through small jobs or chores

86. Learn to care for and not lose physical money (cash, coins)

87. Understand that money is earned by providing value to others

88. Learn that stewardship means using money wisely for God’s glory

Physical & Outdoor Skills

89. Hike safely and respectfully on a trail

90. Pitch a tent or help set up camp

91. Start a campfire safely (with supervision)

92. Fish with basic gear

93. Use a pocketknife safely

94. Run a mile without stopping

95. Tie secure knots (shoelaces, basic camping knots)

96. Use a compass or GPS for directions

97. Carry a backpack comfortably for a day trip

98. Navigate sidewalks and roads safely as a pedestrian

99. Learn basic first aid (bandage a cut, ice a bruise)

100. Handle cold weather gear and dressing in layers

101. Enjoy being outdoors without screens or gadgets

Children grow up faster than we ever think they will so I don’t want to ever miss out on opportunities to shape, instill, and teach my kids what matters most at crucial point in their lives. My hope is that through the efforts I make as they reach adolescents and enter their teen years, these skills will shape much of who they become when they’re adults and start a family of their own.

As always, thank you so much for being here and following along! If this post resonated with you, please share any thoughts in the comments or a message, I’d love to hear!